Sunday, September 16, 2012

Second birthday coming up... or was it today???

A week ago at church a sweet, NON-elderly, woman commented to me how tall JJ is. She then said after looking at me, 'Well of course he's tall. You're tall. Is his Daddy tall too?' to which I automatically replied 'Yes. His Daddy is tall.' Afterwards I wondered if she needed glasses??? but maybe she thought hubby was Chinese??? ;-) Such an innocent question/comment though was heartbreaking for me... I had answered her question thinking about Hubbys height but then I started thinking about JJs biological parents. We know nothing about them, nothing. They could have been young and unmarried facing a crisis pregnancy, or married with one child at home (and unable to keep their second because of the one child policy), or married and JJ was their firstborn but because of his medical needs felt unable to provide for him... or none of those things. We don't know and will never know - barring a miracle. We don't know where JJ was born, when he was born, or what name he may have been called by his birth-parents in the days between his birth and when he was found. We don't know his birth-parents first or last names, what they look like, if JJ has birth siblings... So much we don't know and will never be able to answer for him. We do know the date JJ was found, which road he was found by, and the name he was given at the orphanage but that's as much as we have, as close as it gets to his birth-family.

After answering this sweet woman's question at church I couldn't help but think about all that lays ahead for our precious son... innocent (and sometimes not so innocent) questions that will come about his past to which we have no answers. All that has been heightened for me this week as we prepare to celebrate JJs 2nd birthday. On his birth certificate it is listed as Sept 20th (an estimate based off of when he was found), which is when we will celebrate his birth, but while I was rocking him tonight I wondered if tonight, somewhere in China, a woman, a man, a married couple, 2 single people, were remembering and wondering about him today... Is today, Sept 16th, the day? are they thinking about him today? or is Sept 22nd the day his birthmom has etched in her memory, the anniversary she especially wonders about him, if he lived, if he is loved, if he has a family... Oh how I wish there was a way to let her know how LOVED her son is, how TREASURED he is, how he is LIVING and THRIVING because she protected his life. I wish I had answers for the questions that will come, not the innocent questions from others but the deep questions from our son. I wish there was a way to avoid the heartache... but there isn't. That is all part of adoption which is a beautiful thing to be sure, but not without hard, hard stuff - pain and loss and grieving.

To our precious son, oh how we love you, how incredibly incredibly grateful we are to God for creating you, for your birth-mother choosing life for you, for the blessing that we have of being your forever family. Happy second birthday dear son. I pray Gods richest blessing on your life, that you would always know how very very LOVED you are. I pray that God would bring healing to the hurt places, would redeem whats been lost and would draw you to himself... Happy Birthday!



4 comments:

  1. Amy, your words are such a beautiful reflection of your heart. Your family is precious and I have no doubt that as God protected JonJon, He was whispering to JJ's heart your names and the wonderful future full of love that was being prepared for him. Thank you for sharing. As always, you are a blessing. I miss you, friend!

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    1. Thanks for your sweet words Carmen! Miss you too! Love to make time to get together... Hope all is well with your precious girls!

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  2. So sweet Amy. I forget that Grant and Jon Jon share (?) the same birthday. We are blessed aren't we?

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    1. So so blessed Amy! Some days I almost want to pinch myself, cant believe the blessing that I've been given in being JJs momma!

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