Its been over a year since our lives forever changed, since our third precious daughter came home, and I thought it would be good to look back, and take stock. Adoption is an incredible journey but it is not for the faint of heart. We are doing well, I think, but we have our good days and our bad days, our challenges and frustrations, and our joys and triumphs. I never thought it would be as tough as it has been, and I thought I was realistically prepared for what to expect :-) So, part of this is a selfish post, to encourage myself with how far we have come instead of thinking only of how far we have to go.
-July 30th, 2009: we got word that our HCO had been granted and we could go (finally!!!!) to HK to get our daughter. Thus began the mad rush of preparation for my (Mommas) departure to HK on Ag 7th.
- Fri Aug 7th, 2009: I (momma) flew to HK, arriving on the evening of the 8th.
- Sun Aug 9th, 2009: Had the day to rest/try to get over jetlag before meting EB in the morning.
-Mon Aug 10th, 2009: Met my daughter for the first time (I am not gifted enough with words to express all the thoughts and emotions I went through on this incredible day, suffice to say it ran the whole gamut)!!! We all (2 social workers, foster mother, foster brother, me & EB) went out for lunch and then returned to her foster home. In an attempt to make this life changing situation a little easier on EB, she stayed at her foster home and we had a 'gradual transition'/visits... not sure that it IS possible to make this easier, but we tried...
Tues Aug 11th, 2009: Went back to EB's foster home and spent more time with her. Then took her with me to the apartment that I was staying in. Let her nap there to get 'used to' the surroundings and me :-) Then took her back to her foster home for dinner and sleep.
Weds Aug 12th, 2009: Went to EB's foster home to pick her up. She had her final goodbye with her foster family and they with her. She seemed fine (while we were in the apartment) but the rest of us were basket cases, lots of tears shed. Her foster family loved her so deeply and have grieved the loss of her in their life. I/we are forever grateful to them for the love they gave her, for welcoming her into their family for 2.5yrs. When we got into the taxi was when it seemed to hit her. She started crying for them, let me hold/comfort her and then fell asleep, almost as if it was too much to bear. When we got back to the apartment (where I was staying) she played for a while with me and then SOBBED and WAILED, her poor little heart breaking... the start of her grieving. She let me hold her again and comfort her; she and I both crying until she fell asleep (while continuing to hiccup in her sleep b/c her cry had been so deep and so long :-( ). I can't even imagine what all she felt, her entire world being ripped out from her and being turned upside down. Of course she was 'prepared', as 'prepared' as a 2.5yr old can be, which really isnt that much. How do you comprehend at 2.5 that your 'family' who you lived with as long as you can remember isnt really your family and now you are with some strange lady who speaks only a tiny bit of the language you speak and wont take you back 'home'. SO much I could say here: FINALLY being with my daughter (what I had dreamt and longed and hoped for for SO long), but not having my other half (aka incredible husband) and other daughters with me, heart breaking for EB's grief, thinking about her birth mother and all she went through, being jetlagged, and then not getting to sleep for more than 1-2hrs straight while in HK (b/c EB wasnt sleeping but was crying out/waking up multiple times at night)... and then 1.5 days later we flew home :-)
Fri August 14th, 2009: On the trip home, EB fell asleep on the plane an hour before we took off in HKG. She slept for about 2hrs and then was awake for the remainder of the 12hr flight!!! literally awake and playing and eating and moving and playing and eating and moving (and NOT AT ALL interested in the heavy DVD player that I had brought for her to watch TV on), until we landed in SFO, when she promptly fell asleep again :-) Man was I ever grateful for the stroller I had bought in HK! EB slept the entire time through immigration (which took a LONG TIME even though we were 2nd in line), and baggage claim (which also took a while, my fault entirely!), and the next security check and the mad rush through SFO to our flight for ORD which left in 5mins. So back to baggage claim, I was so sleep deprived that I could not for the LIFE of me remember what her suitcase looked like (it had been purchased by the staff in HK so was not one I had brought with me)... all I knew was that it had wheels on it and was a dark color - pretty much like every other bag going around on the carousel! After waiting and waiting and waiting (and getting nervous b/c our next flight was due to depart soon) I finally found it and pushed the stroller and our bags through customs, and security, and ran to our next flight (with literally only enough time for a FAST diaper change in the stroller). The second and third flights were fine (read: she slept a lot and I dozed) and we landed at our final destination on August 14th around 8pm. HOME.... almost!
OK, so thats all for now except for the pics...
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| Day 1: First Meeting with Ella (playing with some toys that Mommy brought) |
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| Who is this lady? |
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| Getting to hold my daughter!!!! Could my smile BE any bigger? :-D |
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| With EBs foster mother, out at lunch |
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| Out for a walk (er, sleep) on Bowen Rd |
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| Day 3: Farewell with foster family. |
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| Day 4: Playing with Moms REALLY old skool mobile (for use while in HK). Look at those eyes, confused/scared/so unsure, poor thing. |
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| Day 5 (or 5.5): Sleeping on the second of three flights on the way 'home'. |
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| First meeting of sisters at the airport. |
PS Sorry about the poor quality of some of the pics... some were taken on mobiles (when lack of sleep and lack of organisation could find the proper camera NOWHERE near by...)
PPS SO grateful to my brother and sister-in-law, Ungoo & Auntie A, and sister-in-law, Auntie D, for all their support while I was in HK... bringing me yummy food while I was meeting Ella, praying with me, listening to me... just being there. Thanks guys!!!!! Love you!!!!
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